Hottest Women in Sports

Wells wanted to write this, but I beat him to it, feel free to debate the topic. 

Writing this blog post was a challenge, let me tell you. I open myself up to the scrutiny of the masses by goggling beautiful athletic women to put in one place on the internet for you, and what do I get? Well your undying respect and admiration of course. Like Brunce Wayne at the end of The Dark Night, I am what Gotham needs, and its pictures of women in sports. You're welcome.

The other challenge, I mean the one where you don't think I'm a perv, is as a guy, my brain is beautiful woman challenged. Take almost any athletic looking girl and do her up like they do in Maxim or Gear or any of those near-booty-showing magazines, and we are going to think they are attractive. At that point, we're looking at the girls' faces as much as we're reading the articles. What? It's where I get my weather.

Point is what makes a girl attractive to me in sports is being GOOD at sports. If being pretty is your only talent, I have no use for you. So the challenge I pose: The hottest women in sports, with their athletic gear on, as to not spoil the fun. I'm also going to stay away from Russian Tennis players, who quite frankly deserve their own list.

5. Alex Morgan, F, USA Soccer.

The stary eyes, the legs.  Mostly the legs.

Sports cred: The 23 year old Morgan is USA Soccers dynamo up front. She resembles a gnat on offense. She's pesky, quick, and seemingly all over the place. Has a nose for the goal, as evidenced by her 32 international goals. And all of our stolen hearts.

Hottie cred: Does it spoil my rule for this game if I tell you she posed in the last swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated in Body Paint? Again, I'm taking the high road, but It will be really hard for you to find that on google.  

4. Elena Delle Donne, F, Delware

Kind of like a stretched out Helen Hunt...you get it

Sports Cred: One of the best women's basketball players I have ever watched. Led the nation in scoring last year with 28 ppg. Ever watched a girl drop 50 in a game, and have those 'Oh and she's kind of gorgeous moments?'

Hottie Cred: Ok.. So women's basketball is a tough sell. Baggy clothes, manish hairdos, grunting. Fine, I'll cave, what if I told you 6'5, volleyball player, Elena Delle Donne.

...and there goes your imagination

 3. Serena Willaims, Tennis.

Don't you freakin judge me!

See, you are starting to come around

Sports Cred: 15 major championships and a gold medal. Best women's tennis player, EVER..

Hottie cred: I'll be honest, this one didn't take off for me until recently. It was during the Olympics where Serena didn't drop a set, and to be honest everyone looked like they were afraid of her, and who could blame them. 

By the time the final round rolled around,
she was practically snarling

Whatever you think about her, you can't help but look at the body. I mean has there ever been one like that? Don't know what I'd do, but I'd dare not turn her down. Plus she might be stronger than me, which could provide for some unique experience.

Need further proof? Standing next to Sharapova
with no make up, who looks better?

2. Natalie Gulbis: Golf

IT'S IN THE HOLE!  Caddyshack reference, and obviously
applicable here.  Now who is the pervert!

Sports Cred: A few wins here and there...Ok fine I cheated on this one.

Hottie Cred:

Lets just say I respect her for her swing...

1. Jennie Finch, P, USA Softball (retired)

I mean was there ever any doubt? 

Beauty hath a name, and it be Jennie Finch

Sports Cred: Can throw an 85 mph rising curve ball. If that doesn't do if for you I don't know what does. You see that picture(and ones like it on the internet in um, less clothes,) and you think Jennie Finch is an angel. Then you see pictures like this:

Schwaaaaa?!?

And your jaw hits the floor.

Hottie Cred: What makes Jennie Finch so hot, aside from near perfect bone structure, natural blonde hair, blue eyes and a taned, toned body, is that she DOESN'T CARE THAT SHE'S HOT. Finch could have made truck loads of cash endorsing make up or bras or other wierd stuff girls buy, but she was like, 'nah, not for me.' So she's hot, obviously, but she's cool, too. My poor brain could never comprehend such information.

Agree with my list? Think I should have posted bikini pictures? Feel free to share your thoughts.

-Joel

Oh, to be a Cincinnati Sports Fan

Beautiful Cincinnati

Things are looking up in Cincinnati! Now, I know what you’re thinking, a new Skyline Chili downtown? King’s Island is re-opening the Son of Beast? Maybe the Cincinnati Zoo is getting a panda? Nope. Things appear to be heading in the right direction for both of Cincinnati’s major professional sports teams. Let that wash over you for a moment. You heard me right, the perennially hapless Cincinnati Bengals and numbingly mediocre Cincinnati Reds seem to be set up for a period of success.

It is difficult to be a Cincinnati sports fan. The Bengals have won a grand total of one playoff game in my 22 years on this earth. By comparison, the Reds seem like world-beaters having won a World Series when I was 10 months old and having gone to the NLCS when I was five. I don’t remember a single pitch or touchdown from any of those games so I have not been able to enjoy those summer days at the ballpark or Sunday afternoons in the fall like many people have. 

Joey Votto, the Real Deal

With this in mind, optimism in Cincinnati must always be experienced cautiously. We know it’s just a matter of time before Carson Palmer blows out a knee or Al Leiter shuts down the Reds to win the Wild Card. However, it appears that for the first time in a long time, both the Reds and Bengals will be relevant. Both franchises have an exciting crop of young talent that figure to contend in their respective leagues for years to come.

The Reds turnaround started in 2008. A team that went 74-88 hardly seems like something to remember, but 2008 was the year Jay Bruce, Joey Votto, and Johnny Cueto became everyday players. Led by Votto’s MVP season, the 2010 Reds went on to win their first division title since 1995. After a mediocre 2011 season, this year’s version of the team appears poised to recapture the division crown and make run in the playoffs as Jay Bruce continues to improve, Johnny Cueto becomes a bona fide ace, and Joey Votto continues to be Joey Votto. 

Billy Hamilton is so fast, it is amazing we found a picture of him in motion

The scary thing for the rest of the league is the Reds look like they could be getting even better. The Reds have already locked up Votto, Bruce, and Gold Glove second baseman Brandon Phillips long term. Rookies Zack Cozart, Devin Mesoraco, and Rookie of the Year candidate Todd Frazier will be solid contributors to the team for some time. While the Reds farm system isn’t deep after the trade for Mat Latos, it appears to have just the players the Reds need to fill some holes on their major league roster. Tony Cingrani, who made his major league debut Sunday throwing 3 innings and striking out 5, appears to be the top of the rotation left-handed starter the Reds have coveted for so long. He should pair nicely with Johnny Cueto and Mat Latos to make a formidable trio of starters. Reds farmhand Billy Hamilton could become one of the most exciting in the Majors in a few years. Splitting time in A and AA ball this season, Hamilton set a minor league record stealing 155 bases while sporting an on-base percentage of .410. He should fit nicely at the top of the Reds order. Fans in the Queen City think the Reds could be contending for World Series like the days of the Big Red Machine over the next handful of years.

Last year Green was a HUGE fantasy sleeper for me, So good, I hope he can duplicate this season

The Bengals have long been the laughing stock of the NFL. The Bengals players became more well know for spending time in the Hamilton County Jail than playing meaningful games in December. The Bengals have shown signs of life beginning off and on since 2005 but have never put together good seasons. Things are changing for the better, though, with the additions of Andy Dalton and AJ Green. Bengals fans are hoping for a Peyton Manning-Marvin Harrison type relationship for the young stars. The offense should continue to make strides this year after lagging behind a top-10 defense the last few years. Key to the Bengals success has been finally stringing together a few solid drafts. Aside from the Green and Dalton picks, the Bengals have added key contributors like DT Geno Atkins and DE Carlos Dunlap in later rounds.

This incarnation of the Bengals inspires a much more positive vibe in Bengals Country. As much as players like Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson/Ochocinco contributed to the franchise, they were part of a losing culture that needed to go. These young players have brought in a new era of Bengals football. Assuming, and this is a big assumption if you follow the Bengals, that they continue to draft well, the team should ascend into the ranks of their division’s best the Ravens and Steelers.

Smart money will be to take all I just said with a grain of salt. It’s entirely possible the Bengals are picking in the top 5 of next years draft and the Reds continue to play second fiddle to the St. Louis Cardinals. Such is the life of the Cincinnati sports fan. For the time being, however, days are a little sunnier in the city by the river.

-Andy

Five Things You Need to Know about the Carolina Panthers this Season

It was a Sunday night, and I had just cracked a cold one. My Fourth, to be exact. I was watching College Football, and while more entertaining the Candian football which I watched last week, the college game still makes me jones for Pro Football. I'm also probably one of the biggest Panthers fan you will meet, so when I talk pro football, the Panthers are the Sun around which all other teams orbit. You follow? So want to follow the team? Want to impress your friends with five well-informed thought points? Sure you do, and here are the five most important things to know about the Panthers going into the 2012 football season.

1. Cam Newton is an absolute superstar. Say, hypotetheically, you don't watch football (shame on you). Even the untrained eye can appreciate the biggest guy on the field also being the fastest and most elusive guy on the field. In a league full of some of the most superior athletes on the planet, Cam can make them look like they are standing still. Over 4,000 yards passing and 700 yards rushing plus 35 overall touchdowns are Madden-like stats that actually happened. As a rookie Newton was arguably top 10 at his position, year two promises to be even better.

Go on and try to stop that man.

2. Ryan Kalil, the teams center, took out a full page ad in the Charlotte Observer last month proclaiming the Panthers would win the Superbowl. Safe to say optimism is high. The Panthers performed reasonably well last season under rookie head coach Ron Rivera to finish with a 6-10 record. Going from missing the playoffs to superbowl would not be completely unprecidented, but certainly not very likely. Even still, win or lose, the Panthers will be reminded of this statement all year. So confidence is high, but so are expectations. How will a young team fare with that weight?

3. A couple exciting rookies are in the mix. Rookie middle linebacker Luke Keuchly seems unspectacular at first glance, until you hear his name called on a tackle on ALMOST EVERY PLAY. Carolina made the two-time national leader in tackles the #9 overall pick in the NFL draft, and if he stays healthy he will start for the Panthers for a decade. He will be an interesting player to watch because where he is truly gifted is in football instinct.

Now 3a, if you will. Joe Adams, return man out of Arkansas. As much as I would like to describe his skills in detail, I'll save it. If a picture is worth a thousand words, how much is a video worth? I think about things like this. Anyway watch, and you will understand why he will be fun to watch.

4. The defense has a shot to be better than last year, but could still be terrible. Carolina gets a few starters back, including DT Ron Edwards, and LBs Jon Beason and Thomas Davis. Beason, when healthy, is an All-pro. Davis also has the skills, but who know how much he has left after a third consecutive ACL tear on the same knee (ouch). Last year teams could run, pass, or score off special teams against the Panthers. For Kalil's superbowl prediction to have any legs, they can't give up as many points.

***As a note, I find shouting at your television is most helpful on defense.

5. Offensive Coordinator Rob Chudzinski is a play-calling savant. OK, so you can't actually watch Chudzinski (Though with all the camera angles from NFL network, presumably a 'coaches bathroom cam' is on the way), but his plays are inventive, and more importantly utilize the best weapons on the team. Johnathan Stewart and Deangelo Williams on the field at the same time for the first time, EVER. Last year we saw some read option, traditional pro style pocket passing, end arounds, direct snaps, and all sorts of X's and O's junk that is only supposed to work in a video game. Or Little Giants.

Enjoy it, Panthers fans, because if the team executes like they did last season, he's getting a head coaching job, and soon.

So there you have it, five tips for your Carolina Panthers, but don't take my word for it and watch every minute of every game they play, and obsess over the details during the week like I do. Like normal people do...

-Joel

Lucky 13: Madden NFL Series Finally Produces a Winner

Are you ready for some Football!? It’s that time of year, pizza for dinner on Sunday nights, beer sales top the market shelves, and Sunday’s are devoted to a recliner and clicker in hand… Football season.

And with every football season (at least the last 13+) comes a tradition; a tradition started in 1999. A tradition many other young men, old men, and even some ladies follow. A trip to your local video game store and picking up the latest edition of EA Sports’ Madden NFL series. In the past, EA Sports’ was criticized for releasing another “roster update” if you will. The game played the same, the graphics remained lackluster, and no breakout features were introduced. This year’s Madden NFL 13, however, woke up the designers. Madden NFL 13 brings a blast into your living room with all new real-life animations and play calls, making it the truest in-your-face lifelike video game, that I forget is a video game.

Can Megatron beat the curse!

While some reviews may go into the new Connected Careers mode, or the other new features, I will stick with the main engine fueling this video game, the game itself. Highlighting these new features is the “Infinity Engine” which makes every play unique, every yard more intense, and player interactions more realistic. Now I will reveal some of my game play methods throughout the course of this review. But how I play the game is not a secret, it is 13 years in the making and always a developing system. I stay constant with one team (Dallas Cowboys) but never change my formula for success: ground and pound football.

New look jerseys look fantastic on the new game!

The running game was subject to controversy the last few years. Superman like abilities, running over D-lineman who are 100 lbs. heavier than your scatback, and diving 5 yards into the end zone are gimmicks of the past. This year, you earn a five-yard carry, actually fall when you run into someone, and grin every time you catch yourself rumblin’, bumblin’, stumblin’ down the sideline for a score. EA understood that not every running back is Barry Sanders or Emmitt Smith, and this installment executes a realistic, true-to-form, running back.

Now onto my other main gripe with pervious installments of Madden; defense. Defense wins championships, yes, but in Madden games, defenses play ten times better than their rating insists. This year, however, the defensive game play changed immensely. No longer does the “dive” button bring down the ball carrier. It may take two, or three, defenders to bring him down. And when the defensive players hit the ball carrier, the infinity engine actually makes the top half of the player bend one way, while the lower half bends the other depending on how they were wrapped up. Linebackers with 70 speed cannot catch-up to 90 speed wideouts anymore; defensive tackles swallow up little running backs like lunch when they come up the middle; and cornerbacks can not play seven feet tall. EA addressed all my concerns and I’m sold. Defensive plays like a defense should.

I mean common, is this a game or real life!

Some future things for EA to work on, the Xbox version introduced the Kinect way to play, but often time commands do not work. And the interface received a facelift, which does take some more time to navigate through, but you can not disagree with the opening video.. Ray Lewis’s speech represents this year’s Madden perfectly, “every moment is a new moment.” EA also did away with the fantasy draft feature, which is disappointing, especially for a particular roommate of mine, but I digress.

So, if you’re the type of Madden player who enjoys airing the ball out on every play, hoping your 6’5” wideout will catch it… go home. But if you actually enjoy a pound –for-pound gridiron battle, pick up this year’s Madden NFL 13. Well… we’re waiting…

-Brandon